Kayfabe Q&A: Jimmy Noonan

You started out as an actor. How did you transfer from that into a job working for wwe?

When you were an actor in New York City, and you're not a working actor, you have to pay the rent somehow. For a lot of years while I was acting, I had a personal training business which I was very successful at, but I got a little bored with that, and I started to get a lot of work acting. But when you're not acting you have to do something else, I mean I have kids. So I started doing security work. I got very lucky early on. I started working for Charlton Heston in the late 80’s, then I started working for some minor celebrities, and then some big celebrities, and then I went to work in New York City one week for WWF New York. It was the new theme restaurant in Time Square. I worked with the talent and the supervisors well, people from Stamford constantly came down, and next thing you know, it was about a year and a half later that I was on the road with WWF. So it came through the restaurant, but make no mistake, me and Jimmy Tillis, or anyone else, wouldn't have been on the road if we weren’t top security guys.

Jimmy as Frank Galikanokus in Super Troopers

What were your day to day responsibilities while working there?

Everything. Soup to nuts. Absolutely everything. Me and Jimmy Tillis took care of the talents, we called the venues and reminded them that we were coming in a couple weeks, talked to them about their concerns before we got there, or extra needs in terms of security, in terms of the parking lot, before hand whether it was a house show or a big TV show like Raw or Smackdown. Then we'd be at the airport with the talent. I usually hung out with the top guys. If Brock Lesnar was the World Champion, I usually hung out with Brock. If Taker was the World Champion, then I stayed there with Taker. If it was Triple H, Batista, Cena, I usually tried to stay closest to those guys when we were on the road. I’d find out where they were staying, and be as close to them as possible.

We also handled had all of the executives. We handled Vince, we handled Stephanie, we handled the production trucks, made sure we had security in place, and then we did the events. The funny thing about the events was that a lot of times, the top people in the buildings that we had rented for the day to run Smackdown, they couldn't find the producer, or someone they needed. But they could always find Security. They knew security was always in the venue. They knew Security would always be in the stadium or the arena, and they knew where to find us. So they'd ask us all the questions about security protocol, the timing, or show questions. So we handled so much. I don't think there’s anyone at WWE to this day that knows exactly what we did, or how many hats we wore, and the magnitude of what we did for them. You know, when you're doing security for them, you don't get to go to WWE Security School, you make this stuff up on your own. You just do the most practical thing. The next, right thing. A lot of this stuff you just make up, and it’s just trial and error. When you’re a good security guy, your instincts are good. Our instincts were terrific.

What was it like working for Vince McMahon?

You know, Vince is a really likeable guy. He’s such a character. He’s kinda like Donald Trump. I did security for Season 2 of Celebrity Apprentice, so I got to spend some time with Donald Trump. And over the years in New York City, I have been in many, many red carpet events where I've done security and Donald Trump was there. He’s a really interesting man. He’s got this magnetic personality, you know? It’s almost as if he’s the male version of a supermodel. You can't take your eyes off him. And the same with Vince. Vince is such an interesting character. He was always good to me, he was very respectful to me. For years, people have been saying to me "well tell me about Vince.", almost expecting me to crap on Vince McMahon. Well here’s my stock answer: I saw the world on Vince McMahon’s dime. I went to South Africa, every inch of Europe, I went to New Zealand, I went to Australia, I went to Tokyo, I went to Sri Lanka, I went everywhere on Vince McMahon’s dime. And I went first class. How could I have a problem with this guy?

Vince McMahon was always respectful, Shane was always respectful, Stephanie was always good to me. And if anyone had a problem with me, Stephanie would usually be the one to say "Would you come to my office", or "Would you come see me? We need to talk about something." She'd talk to me very respectfully and very nicely, and we'd work out the problem. I would say that the short version would be that the McMahons were very respectful, and were very good to Jimmy Noonan.

Noonan in WWE Magazine

I'm sure you had many memorable moments while working security for WWE, can you tell us about some of your crazier experiences while working there?

WWE magazine in ’05 or ’06, they kinda broke kayfabe. They started doing stories on the doctors and trainers, agents, and they started doing stuff they never did before. Lo and behold, they approached security, and said "Would you mind doing an interview?" and I was like "Vince is gonna let this happen?" and sure enough they went to Vince and he said "Sure let’s go for it." They interviewed me and Jimmy Tillis, and because I’m the more loquacious one who's a storyteller, all the stories were about me, but there was a magazine where Edge and DX were on the cover, and the name of the article was 'WWE Security’s Greatest Hits'. So a lot of the stories are in there, and somebody could find them pretty readily.

There’s the stories about Jimmy Tillis getting off the bus with the talent in Birmingham and in the hotel there was a bunch of MMA fighters, and one of them said they wanted Triple H’s autograph. Tillis said no because everyone was so exhausted, you know they had been on the road for two weeks. So the guy got into some words with Tillis, and then all these MMA fighters came out, and Big Vis, Jericho, Tillis, and the rest just knocked the crap out of all these MMA guys. That’s always the one we hear about. There are so many stories about the boys and travelling, and the pranks they pulled on each other.

I remember one time I think it was in Lewiston, Maine. This kid was dressed as the Undertaker, he had the hat and the long leather coat, and was holding an urn. A tall skinny kid. I turned my back, and this kid climbed in the ring, and I collared this kid big time, man. I mean I took him down off the top rope, actually. And it turns out, and it’s not that funny, but this kid was learning disabled and apparently played the Undertaker in his local community play. So, stupid stuff like that.

There were some that were pretty bad, and some that were okay. I don't know if you remember, but Triple H was traded to Smackdown for one night. I think Eddie Guerrero was the WWE Champion, and it was Triple H vs. Eddie in the main event. It was in Detroit. We were on a commercial break, but the match was going on. Some idiot literally jumped over security and went into the ring. Of course Triple H and Eddie turned to him, and of course he jumped out into my arms, and he got collared pretty heavily, but it turns out we weren't on TV for that moment, but he thought he got his moment in the sun, his 15 seconds of fame. He didn't even do it on TV, but on a commercial break. There was never anything really that dangerous or riveting, just everyday stuff. I wasn't there that night in Edmonton, when the guy jumped in the ring and pushed down the ladder that Eddie was on, and then Eddie clocked him before security got him. Jimmy Tillis seemed to get more jumpers than I did. That’s what we called people who hit the ring, we called ‘em jumpers. He had maybe more of a problem. I think I grounded people more at ringside, and I think that they were a little more intimidated by me for some reason. I had a lot less jumpers than he did.

Last week CM Punk got into an altercation with a fan in the audience, and he struck the guy on live television. What did you think when you saw that, and was there anything that could have been done to avoid it?

I watched the video after seeing the news. It was on Facebook, it was all over the place that CM Punk had hit a fan. I am always interested in that, because that's where my job came in WWE. Protecting the talent, protecting the fans, protecting everybody. It was about security and safety at all costs. I was extremely disappointed to not see WWE security right next to Punk. It is about the fan's safety number one, It's about the talents safety number two, and security in general around the event.

You have to be near the talent, but be off camera at the same time. It is sometimes difficult but that's what you do when you are WWE security. And you have to constantly reassure the talent that you are there. You are either whispering to them or patting them on the ass, or shoulder if it's the female talent like Stacy Keibler, or Nidia, or Gail Kim. You put your hand on them and say "I'm right here, I'm right here" and they know your voice. And then you can speak calmly to them, you can do that kind of kayfabe talk that wrestlers and people in WWE use. But it was very disappointing to me. Wrestlers get hit all the time, and wrestlers hit people all of the time weather on purpose or not. It's a part of the experience, and it's part of WWE and the wrestler going into the stands. But he should have been more protected by WWE security, and I'm calling them out and saying that they need to do a better job.

Kurt Angle and Jimmy Noonan

How did your departure from WWE come about, and was there any hard feelings that came out of it?

I think there’s always hard feelings in those situations, because people tell stories that aren't true sometimes. In WWE, you don't have a lot to do on the road. You have the workout, tanning, eating, but you haven't been home in a couple weeks and you’re bored. Some guys spend some time with local women, but then there’s guys that gossip. That’s what we do on the road, we gossip about each other. I think some of the gossip about me leaving was just some stupid stuff. What happened, was I was miserable. I hadn't had a day off in a long time. Everybody in the company knew it.  I reported to John Laurinaitis on the road, and me and Johnny and me had a terrific thing. He liked me a lot, he respected me, and he took care of me. But there was this one guy in the office that had a beef with me. He had a beef with me because a lot of times I would call him and just say, you know, "I need time off.", and I would have an attitude sometimes, and I haven't been home in a long time, and I’m travelling all the world.

There was this one month – ONE MONTH where I travelled over the international date line three times. I never even got a thank you. I was the only guy in the company who did it, and I never got a thank you from anybody. And I would go to this guy and I'd say "I need some time off." And he wouldn't give it to me. What the WWE does is throw money at you. We're all independent contractors, so it’s easier for them to throw money at you. They give you money, and expect everybody to be happy. I just wasn't happy. I let my feelings be known, and I had some heat because I was tough on a lot of people in some buildings.

I remember I had some heat at The Allstate Arena in Chicago and a couple other places where we'd do smaller shows, because I wasn't shy about telling people exactly the way it was gonna be that day. WWE rented the facility for a lot of money that day, and that made me, security wise, the top dog in the building, and I wanna work with you too, but you gotta do the right thing. You gotta obey the security rider that I sent you 3 or 4 months ago, and there’s a lot of things that I need. We're a multi-billion dollar corporation that has a lot of needs. You need to do what we told you to do. What we're paying you to do. It’s easy to become very unpopular in a lot of these buildings when you’re telling people what the hell to do. So I think the long and the short of it is that I had some heat and I was miserable, so we decided together that I was gonna leave WWE. I got a letter one day in Campus City that my services were no longer going to be needed in 90 days. So in other words, if I got fired, it was the slowest firing in history. I say that we just couldn’t agree to terms, or I left, or we just basically decided that it was best for everybody that I leave. Whatever you wanna call it. Like I said, I think there’s always a little ill feelings. I don't feel welcome in WWE, I would never go back, and I would never go to an event ever again.

With his good friend Dave Batista

You made friends with several of the stars while you were there, do you still keep in contact with anyone?

Dave Batista was kinda my best friend in WWE. I travelled with Eddie Guerrero, we drove together. I drove with Eddie and Benoit every once in a while, Kurt Angle every now and then. Because I travelled with Batista, i’d spend some time with Randy Orton, Ric Flair and Triple H. Triple H was always a gentleman to me. He always talked to me like a brother and contemporary, and never treated me like I was just the security guy. He always treated me like one of the boys even though I was decidedly NOT one of the boys. Batista was kinda like the guy I was always closest to. I was very happy to see him win his first MMA fight the other night. I know how important this was to him, and I was so happy for him.

People asked me before the fight "How do you think he will he do?" and I said "Well, he’s gonna be in shape. Even though he’s 43 years old he’s gonna be in incredible shape. He’s doing triathlons right now, so he’s got that. I've seen him do bench press and he’s stronger than hell. He’s an incredible athlete and he’s worked very hard." He’s been working his way up the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu belt list. I don't know exactly where he is, but he’s very high up. He’s not a black belt yet, but in a couple more years he'll probably be a black belt. I thought he'd be fine, I thought he'd win. I was very happy for him. We haven't talked - I've taken a low profile these days in terms of my WWE acquaintances. It’s just a lot of work. I'll always love Dave, but I think I'll choose to have a relationship from afar unless he ever needs me, but I don't think I'm gonna pursue it anymore, just because he has a very busy life and I have a very busy life. But he’s a wonderful human being. You know, some guys are really good guys, and some guys are assholes.

Who is the biggest asshole you knew while working for WWE?

That’s tough, because it’s not in my nature to speak badly of people. Really, I mean how many times in the last 5 years, in all the radio and interviews I've done, have I said anything really bad about anybody? I think the most disappointing thing to me is when someone like Triple H treats me almost like one of the boys, treats me like a brother, shows me so much respect, and then somebody who’s further down or as big and at the same level as Triple H treats me badly. I got treated very badly, I'm not going to say he was an asshole, but I was treated badly by Booker T towards the end. I think there’s a lot of reasons. There was this perception when I was on the road, especially towards the end, that I was so unhappy, that I would rather spend more time with females on the road than do my job. Spend time with females in different cities we were going to. At least that was the word I heard. Booker was one of those people who'd talk about that.

One night an egg was thrown at him in Germany, from the 400 section WAY up top, and he cut a promo on me during the show. I think it was very unprofessional. It almost hit Sharmell, but still for him to cut a promo on me, and again after the show, he apologized a little, but things had changed. I think one of the reasons also was that I was Batista’s guy, I had so much respect for Batista, and I had Batista’s back, and he had so much animosity towards Dave Batista. So he treated me very badly, and he went to Mark Calloway, the Undertaker, and he talked crap about me. So Undertaker also decided that I wasn't "doing my job". Even Michelle McCool said something ugly to me one day as we came into the arena in Italy. So yeah, I knew it wasn't just Booker, it was Booker getting on Mark and then Mark forming an opinion. Telling me that this is a business, and I'm not doing my job. What? I did it for 8 years and now all of a sudden I’m not doing it? C'mon, Mark. Give me a break.

I also think John Cena should've been a little nicer to his co-workers, and the guys who worked with him and for him, than he was. You know what was one of the things I never understood about some people? WHY they would be nicer to their fans and their pets, than they would to their co-workers. I never understood that. Cena did it, he was nicer to his fans than he was to his co-workers, well not the boys, but everybody else. Lita was nicer to her dog, and her fans than she was to me. I didn't have a problem with Lita. But some of these people, I just don't get it. But I wouldn't call them assholes. There’s other guys too, a couple of bullies, and I never could stand bullies. There were a couple of them that were on the roster back then, too. They know who they are, I don't even have to say. The bullies know who the bullies are.

With Sean Waltman AKA X-Pac

You have said in the past that the stain of The Chris Benoit tragedy hampered your attempts to find work in acting after leaving WWE. Are you still feeling the effects of that to this day?

I’m not sure if I'm feeling the effects right now. I surely, absolutely felt the effects for at least a couple of years. You gotta realize that I left WWE in February or March of 2007. 3 months later, Chris Benoit goes home and kills his family. Very sad. Very, very sad. I cried so much when I heard that. It was so painful, I really had great admiration for Chris up to that point, and he was one of my WWE brothers.

I can remember all the conversations between me, him, Eddie and Chavo. Then Chavo Classic. And you know, it was really rough. About that time, I decided to look for work. I took some time off after WWE and now it’s time to get back to work. I remember going into Jules Coles’ office in NYC and they're looking at my resume. And somebody says to me "Oh! You’re head of security for those wrestlers! Those fake wrestlers!" and I was all "Well you know, it’s a sports entertainment company." And they go "Oh, those are the guys who take all the steroids, right?" and I said "Well, you know, that’s not everybody. It’s just one of those things…" and they'd say "Oh, and this is the company where that guy went home and killed his family one weekend." And I went Oh my God, this is what I'm up against?! I was up against such bad press. I was up against such a bias, such negativity toward WWE. Like, OK it’s fake wrestling, does that also mean you were a fake security guy? I mean I didn't know what to think after a while.

But timing was HORRIBLE. To think that all of a sudden I can't get hired by anybody, and to think that it didn't affect my work would be very naïve of me, and very wrong thinking. It was devastating, it really was. Does it affect me now? No, we're past that. It’s 5 years later. God, can you believe it’s 5 years already? That’s unbelievable, isn't it? It doesn't affect me now, but it absolutely positively affected me then, I'm sure of it.

You are now working on a book, can you tell us a little bit about it?

Yes! I just got goosebumps. My beautiful daughter… Sometimes when you're on the road, things happen. I met a young beautiful girl one day, I was actually travelling with Jonathan Coachman (Former WWE announcer, The Coach), and our waitress was this beautiful young girl from Detroit. About 3 or 4 months later, we had a one-night stand. And then 9 months later, we had a beautiful daughter. The problem is, if there is a problem, the problem is I am 47 years older than my daughter is. I'm 54, and she’s 7. And she may not get to know me. I don't know what God’s plan is for me. I don't know if I'm going to live to be 80, 90, or 55. So I want my daughter to know everything. My dad died about 10 years ago, and even though I was his only son, I didn't know everything about my dad, and I find myself wondering, and I ask my mom, my 86 year old mom, I ask her questions all the time about my dad. And I wanna know more.

So I wrote a book, it’s called “A Letter to Cecily: The Memoirs of a Nobody”, my daughter’s name is Cecily. It is about my life. I've led a very colorful life. I've been on Broadway, I've been in movies, I've been a personal trainer to the stars, I've been a security expert to the stars, I've worked with major corporations. I’m a recovering alcoholic and I just celebrated 25 years of recovery, and I do that on a daily basis. I grew up with 7 women, 6 sisters and my mother, my dad was gone all the time, so I've had this very, very colorful life and I want my daughter to know about it.

So I decided to write her a 400 page letter and the book will be done by the end of the year. I made that commitment to myself, and I'm way past three quarters done, but I've been working on it for 2 days and I wrote 10 pages today, which is terrific. If you've done any writing, you’ll know much 10 pages is, it’s a LOT of writing. But I’m very, very proud of it. I say in the book that she'll be so proud of me. She'll know so many good things about me. But I'm also gonna tell her a lot of bad things. I want her to know everything. So that she'll have no questions, like I have about my dad. There will be no questions about who Jimmy Noonan was.

Do you have a release date set for the book?

I think first thing I’m gonna do is get it done, which probably will be in the next 30-40 days. After that, it’s a game. I don't have a publisher yet, I don't have anything. I do know that it’s terrific stuff, and that a lot of people are interested in it. But there is no real release date. When you get done with a book, you get it out anywhere between 6-9 months. I might self publish it. There’s a lot of money in self publishing these days. You know, a lot of the book companies that used to be around aren't around anymore. So I might self publish it.

What was the overall experience of working for WWE, and if you could, would you do it again?

You know, of course I would do it again. I would probably never have gone to all those little cities that we went to. I did a show in all 50 states. North Dakota, South Dakota, Alaska, Hawaii, Idaho, Maine, and EVERY medium sized city in Texas, and all the countries I went to. All the experiences I had, all the women I banged (HAHAHA!!). Of course I would do it again. In a minute!

But I will tell you, I don’t know if you know this, Jeremy, but I have a very famous writer sister, and her name is Peggy Noonan. Peggy used to write Ronald Reagan and George Bush’s speeches, and she works with Romney now, and she’s a very well-respected conservative republican pundit. Peggy said to me one day "What are you doin’?" I said "Well, I'm about to go on the road with WWF" and she said "Well, what’s that?" and I said "You know the wrestlers you see on TV?" and she goes "Why are you gonna do that?" and so I said "Well because the money’s real good, I'll be solvent for the first time in many years, and my first show is in Texas. And next week I'll be going to Japan, and then I'll be going to Australia in 3 or 4 months." And she goes "But Jimmy, you're an actor. Look at it; You just did Broadway, you just did a major TV show and Super Troopers, everything you touch turns to gold, every show or movie you’re in gets awards, so what are you doing?" and I said "Well I don't know! It just sounds like the right thing to do." And she goes "Well I disagree." So I look at that sometimes and I think Oh my god, maybe I made a mistake. But I would do it again. I had some great experiences, and it’s not a negative, it's a positive. I have to rate it a positive experience, and of course I'd do it again. I'd do it again in a minute. Although, I wouldn't do it again now. Let’s make that clear, I would never go back!

Heisenbealer's TNA Impact Review 10/11/2012

Howdy there, Heisenbealer here, doing the Impact review this week. It’s been many a moon since I've tuned into the TNA product, which is odd because I've never been as hard on them as the rest of the internet community seems to be. I can just only handle so much man grappling in a week’s time. And usually that was reserved for Raw, but with whatever Punk and Bryan happen to be doing being the only thing worth tuning into lately (and the three hour drag) I haven't even been watching that lately. So here we go!

We get A Double Austin Aries against James Storm for our opening match. Seems like WWE isn't the only place that puts two of their top stars in a curtain jerker match, so I suppose my grumpy old ass should just get used to it. One thing I've always enjoyed about TNA is that most of their guys put a lot into every match, not just the PPV ones. Storm and Aries really laid into each other on this one, and I’d have been more than happy to have this match on a PPV that I paid for. I think this also puts more pressure on them to really deliver when it is a PPV match, which is the way it should be across the entire industry, but I digress. Aries hits a beautiful Brainbuster on Storm to pick up the 1 2 3.

Back from commercial we get Hogan and Sting in the ring with Hogan yammering on about a “Deal with the devil” with Aces and 8s, which cues out the “World Tag Team Champions Of The World” Kaz and Daniels with Daniels proclaiming themselves to be “Angels” and requesting that their match at BFG on Sunday be cancelled so that their opponent Kurt Angle can be Sting’s partner against A&8s instead of Bully Ray. Ray comes out to essentially agree with them, but tell them they're wrong. Yada yada yada, does anyone else doubt that Ray turns on Sting Sunday and is revealed as being part of, if not the leader, A&8s? I mean, it’s BFG, TNA’s Wrestlemania, and they seem to have a fetish for throwing the swerve at their Grandaddy every year.

Our next match is AJ Styles Vs Hernandez, who will be part of the Tag Team Triple Threat this Sunday. This match was a little slower and not quite as hard hitting as the first of the night, but still a solid match. And when you have AJ Styles in the ring, how can you NOT have a solid match? Styles is one of the best in the world when it comes to getting between the ropes, and I don't think he receives enough credit for how good he is. Hernandez hits what I assume is the weakest looking finisher in TNA, a shoulder (albeit a giant one) block, sending Styles flying across the ring and down long enough for the pin.

Something happens with an Aces and 8s guy talking backstage, but I can't make out what he’s saying except “Hogan” and “Sunday”. Expect something to happen between them and Hogan on Sunday I suppose.

Back in the ring we get the X Division champ Zema Ion gets on the mic. He kind of reminds me of that stuck up bitch we all knew in high school. He cuts a typical promo about having no X Div opponents left, which leads to RVD making his way out to cut another typical promo. Looks like they'll face off Sunday, which is good because I'm much more interested in seeing these two in action rather than on the mic.

After more backstage garbage that does nothing to further any storylines and a truly frightening pre Hollywood scare in seeing Brooke Hogan’s face, we get Sting and Bully Ray against the Tag Team Champs Daniels and Kaz. Again, I like that TNA does this and makes Sting and Ray’s “warm up” match against a team you don't know right off the bat they’ll beat. If this was WWE, Sting and Ray would have faced Santino and Heath Slater in a squash. Instead they AGAIN give us a PPV quality match up with a lot of back and forth action, and yes, even Sting telling Ray to “GET THE TABLE!” leading to Daniels and Kaz getting the win via DQ after Bully put Daniels through said table with a brutal second rope powerbomb. If the match quality of Impact tonight is indicative of how the PPV will be, I’ll be a happy camper Sunday night.

Our Knockout match of the night is Gail Kim Vs Ms Tessmacher. A solid match out of the girls, which is something that can rarely be said for their Diva counterparts. Nothing special to see here, but not a piss break like you usually get with women’s matches in the WWE either. And they get to act a little sluttier. Win/win. Tessmacher gives a hard slam to Gail for the pin win, and afterwards Tara comes in to attack her. But Tessmacher gets the upper hand and slams her too.

And in our main event of the evening we get Bobby Roode facing off against Jeff Hardy. Or maybe that’s one of Picasso’s paintings come to life. It’s such an enigma I can't even tell. My issue with Jeff Hardy has always been the effort he puts into his matches. Some people don't like him because he’s a “spot monkey” but I disagree, and even if he is/was, professional wrestling needs a lot of different styles, not just technical masters who know 1004 holds. Hardy always seems to get complacent and just dial in his matches when he doesn't feel like he’s being spotlighted the way he should (Randy Orton is the same way) but between the few times I've seen him since his drug troubled break and tonight’s match, it seems like he’s delivering the way he should. Roode is great as always, one of the best current heels in the business. Match ends when Hardy goes for the Twist Of Fate, but Roode ducks it and delivers a low blow, giving Jeff the win by DQ. After the bell rings Roode grabs a steel chair, but the ref takes it out of his hands, giving Hardy enough time to hit the Twist Of Fate to give his fans a little pop before they go home. A Double makes his way to the ring to jaw at Hardy and end the show with the spotlight on the Championship heading into the PPV. He complains about the company catering to Hardy even though Aries is the champ, and it all sounds kind of reminiscent of Punk/Cena. Solid promo, but nothing unique, and after the words are said Aries attacks Hardy and lays him out with a Brainbuster to end the show and lead us into the PPV this Sunday.

Damn good show overall, and I think I may have found my replacement for my weekly wrestling fix.

-Heisenbealer

Kayfabe Q&A: BLK Jeez

Height 5'7"

Weight 170 lbs. 

Hometown: West Philly

Did you watch wrestling as a kid? And if so, who were your favorites?

Yes, I watched it ever since I was a kid. My all time favorite is Eddie Guerrero but, I've admired so many different people. My list of favorites would take me all day long to write.

When Did you decide you wanted a career in wrestling?

When I was really young, like 8 or 9 years old or so.

Was your family supportive of your chosen career path?

At first, I think they just felt that I was going through a phase and would break out of it. But over time, they've been very supportive every step of the way. They're pretty proud of my decision to follow my dream.

Who trained you and what was that experience like?

Originally, I was trained by Charles Gregory, known on the Indys as Gemini. I've had various trainers and mentors over time though.

BLKOUT members Ruckus & BLK Jeez

Your first "big break" came when you joined CZW and teamed with Ruckus to form The BLKOUT. What was that like, and did you realize how big BLKOUT would become?

A great experience. I knew that Blkout had the potential to become very big. Actually, Blkout could have been so much bigger if it wasn't for the politics of pro wrestling. If more bookers/promoters thought like businessmen and wanted to make money instead of being stubborn and petty, Blkout would be on TV every week right now! But u know, it is what it is.

BLKOUT had a long running feud with The Kings of Wrestling, What did you think about the matches you had with Claudio Castagnoli and Chris Hero (Current WWE star Antonio Cesaro and NXT's Kassius Ohno)?

I was still pretty green at the time and those guys really carried me, I'd say. I did learn a lot from them in terms of character development, performing like a star, match pacing, etc. It's great to see that they both made it to WWE because they definitely deserved it.

In 2005 you started working for Chikara. What was it like working there opposed to working in CZW?

Completely different from CZW. I had a good time there and it was another learning experience.

This past June you wrestled for both WWE and TNA in the same week, How did that come about?

I was contacted by both companies and presented with an opportunity. I went in, did well and got positive feedback.

Who came up with the Jared Wachtler name for Smackdown? Is there a story behind it?

That was the name that the writers gave me. I don't know if there was any story behind it at all.

What was your impression of both companies?

I enjoyed working for both companies. I know that with the right situation, I can do big things in either company. I would definitely rather be there than working on the Indys. Aside from ROH and PWG, there aren't any Indy companies that really interest me. I proved myself in the top 2 companies in the U.S. and that's something that no one can take away from me.

Have you been in contact with Ring of Honor? If so, is there a chance we could be seeing you there anytime soon?

Not since wrestling there at the August tapings. I am interested in wrestling there more often, I had a very good time.

Jeez as Ra'Shad Cameron taking it to Sonjay Dutt at TNA Destination X

Do you have a "dream opponent"?

Not really. My dream opponent would have been, Eddie Guerrero. I guess if I had to choose one dream opponent, it would be Jushin 'Thunder' Liger.

What do you feel are the positives and negatives about working in the business?

The positives are being able to create something out of nothing. Being able to entertain people. Putting a smile on their faces or making them hate our characters so much. Getting them so emotionally attached to everything that were doing. Another BIG POSITIVE is getting paid to travel the World do something that I've always wanted to do.

The negatives are,the politics that exist. The loss of friendships because of the politics of it. When you put everything into pro wrestling, you miss out on a lot of things in your personal life. Lots of strained relationships there. Also, it's become TOO EASY for anyone to become a pro wrestler. A Lot of people lack passion and don't take it seriously enough and I just feel that those people should not be in the business.

Could we see BLK Jeez back in a TNA ring soon?

You mentioned wrestlers who "Lack Passion". According to many, there are people who currently compete in both WWE and TNA who have been described that way. How does it make you feel that there are people like that who are taking roster spots that should go to someone like you?

I try not to dwell on that. But, I do feel that I would do positive things if I was on either roster.

Last night you faced former ECW star Christian York in Baltimore, next week it will be someone else. Do you feel you are at the top of your game at this point?

Pretty much. I know that I'm able to go out there every night or every week and stand out and give the people their money's worth.

Tell us, who is BLK Jeez?

Blk Jeez is a guy from Philly that takes pride in his city and in his performances. Blk Jeez is someone that cannot be touched by ANYONE on the Indys these days, promo wise. Blk Jeez is someone that will do well in WWE and/or TNA. It's a FACT that Blk Jeez (Ra'Shad Cameron) stood out character wise in my short time on TNA and with the right opportunity, the sky is the limit.

Frank Venezia & Jared Wachtler (BLK Jeez) about to face Ryback

Any upcoming shows you would like to plug?

October 6th- Baltimore,MD for RCW (www.realchampionshipwrestling.com)
October 13th- Voorhees,NJ for CZW (www.czwrestling.com)
October 20th- Bethany,CT for CTWE (www.ctweprowrestling.com)

How can people get in touch with you?

Twitter- @jeez215
Facebook- www.facebook.com/jeez215
Youtube- www.youtube.com/jeez215

Kayfabe Q&A: Alex Colon

 Height: 5'7"

Weight: 175 lbs.

Hometown: The 609

Finisher: Pop-Up Driver

                                                                   
When did you decide you wanted a career in Wrestling?

Around the time I got outta high school. I was dabbling with music at that time but ended up steering right back into wrestling after attending CZW's Cage of Death that year.

Did you watch wrestling as a kid? And if so, who were your favorites growing up?

I loved wrestling as a child. My favorite was Bret Hart. He was definitely a big influence with my love for wrestling.

Was your family supportive of your chosen career path?

Yeah, my family is somewhat supportive of my choice. They don't think its the best move, but they aren't gonna stop me from chasing my dream.

Alex Colon vs Devon Moore, CZW 'Redemption'

Who trained you and what was that experience like?

I was trained by DJ Hyde and Jon Dahmer. My experience with them was def a learning experience. DJ is very much  new school, someone who is into whats on today compared to Dahmer who is very old school influenced, someone who is very into what made yesterdays stars and skills. I loved my time there and still today learn as I continue my journey, but value the basics and other things they have taught me.

Since breaking into the wrestling business you have competed in companies such as MCW, AAW, DGUSA, EVOLVE and of course Combat Zone Wrestling. What has your experience been working for these promotions?

All these promotions have been very good to me and professional. I couldn't ask for more. From the ring crew to the promoters, I have always been treated fairly at these places. I loved every opportunity I have been given in each place and hope that I may have many more in the future.

You have been in the ring with a number of great wrestlers such as Sami Callihan, Adam Cole, Rhett Titus, and many others. Do you have a favorite opponent that you have faced so far in your career?

I honestly have 3 guys that I feel like I gel really well with and they are Sami Callihan, Rich Swann, and AR Fox. Each guy is extremely talented and I feel that each time I step in the ring with them, we blow everything away. I think they have as much passion for professional wrestling as I do and it shows every time I step in there with them.

Do you have a dream opponent?

Yeah, I mean I don't like to say dream opponent cuz Bret Hart is obviously outta the picture in 2012, but Homicide is someone I always seen myself wanting to wrestle back in the early 2000's when I was really getting into the Indy's as a fan heavily.

What are the positives and negatives about working in the business?

The positives are all the relationships and friendships you make down the line. The negatives are all the politics that come with wrestling. I don't talk too much about the negatives because I'm enjoying my time in it currently.

Wrestling as a whole is down right now. What do you think needs to change to help it grow to where it was in the 80's or late 90's?

I just think people need to rally together more for wrestling as a whole. Too many people fight and bicker for meaningless issues. We all fight for the same dream, and even though not everyone eats off of the same apple, it doesn't mean we don't eat an apple. The territories worked so well because everyone had a slice of the pie and now days everyone wants to eat off of the same slice if that makes sense.

Tell us, who is Alex Colon?

Alex colon is Robin Hood, haha. I like to fight for what I believe is right. I am also stubborn enough to think I'm right even if wrong. Alex Colon has a temper like Scarface in and out of the ring. Fans project me as a bad guy, and even if otherwise I like being a bad guy cuz sometimes the good guy wont pull the trigger, but I'm always ready to start firing away. I basically am just someone who lives and dies by their temper plain and simple. Very Tony Montana-ish and that's really me.

Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

In 5 years I'd hope to still be in the business somewhat and if not wrestling than owning my own little company or working behind the scenes for another. I try to think realistic at times and know even though I don't fit what TV is looking for, even the underdog has a chance in an ever changing industry.

4-Loco (Bandido Jr., Alex Colon, Chrissy Rivera, and Azrieal)

Any upcoming shows you would like to plug?

No real date plugs I can think of, but if you're interested in catching me in action look out for me in such places as CZW by logging onto czwrestling.com or follow me on Facebook for upcoming shows.

How can people get in touch with you?

Get at me on facebook.com/alexcolon0139 or on twitter @alexcolon0139. If you want to take an extra step, feel free to email me at alexcolon0139@yahoo.com.

Kayfabe Q&A: Cameron Large

When did you decide you wanted to be a Pro Wrestler?

I saw a poster, showed up at a free event, beat Jack Evans at Tekken, and then was offered a spot wrestling by the promoter, who said, 'You're too big to not wrestle'.

Who were your favorites growing up?

Growing up, I liked guys like Scott Steiner, Mankind, and Vader. Vader especially though. The way he threw guys around and mistreated them was pretty entertaining. Of course, after I became an adult, I found guys like Ric Flair more entertaining than I did as a child. Still though, guys who would put people over are by far the best. Vader is a great example of this, as Vader vs. Sting can attest to.

Was your family supportive of you becoming a wrestler? 

My family... well, that's an odd question. My father didn't know about it until about 6 months in, and my mother said, "Don't hurt yourself dearie" in her totally caring yet worried manner. She was supportive, paying for tickets to any event she was in driving distance to. She just wanted to see me perform. My father occasionally showed up, but when he did, he brought his girlfriend, her family members, and all sorts of people. I would say overall, I was supported, save for the times when I was injured.

Where did you train and what was it like?

I trained at a place called "The Havoc Haven". Honestly, I loved the training I got with the man who trained me. Dave "Havoc" Hollenbeck was (and still is) a ring wizard. The guy is actually trained in multiple legitimate martial arts styles, including Shotokan Karate, Jiujitsu, and other styles. We actually trained under the same martial arts trainer years before we met. I've trained with guys like Davey Richards and Tony Kozina after him, but I first trained with Dave, and I'll tell you, I didn't learn anything better than I did with him.

Years later, I still look to Dave for all of my personal wrestling questions. I talk to him often, to this day.

Have you gotten to meet many big names since you started? And if so, what was your impression of them?

What you consider a big name, I consider a co-worker. I'm a wrestler. Anybody I've met is a wrestler. Does it matter that it was Colt Cabana, or Dr. Tom Prichard, or Beau James? No. They're just wrestlers. They're all the same. Some might have more knowledge, but I could argue that I have as much, if not more knowledge than some guys on national television. It's almost an unfair question.

My favourite "Famous" guy I've ever met was Norman Smiley. He was a real badass, though, there, I name dropped and told you someone I idolize at the same time.

What is your favorite match that you have competed in so far, and why?

Honestly? I've enjoyed all of them. I've enjoyed the brutal physical combat with Mike Santiago, I've enjoyed the candid cartoonishness of wrestling Marion Gein, and I've enjoyed the oldschool brawls with Hoss TuLL. I really enjoyed wrestling with Havoc, when I was one of the Lovejoy boys, and I've enjoyed the physical ass kicking I gave and received against JD Mason. I challenge myself to bring the best out of my opponent. As a heel, my job isn't to look good, it's to make my opponent be the best he can be, and I strive to deliver every time I'm in the ring.

Who is your dream opponent?

Honestly? Nobody. I'm done fighting. I'm the most hated guy in the NW. Without a true face in this area, I refuse to continue to wrestle. I've challenged Tony Kozina to a legitimate exchange after I watched his worked "shoot match" with a 16 year old kid, and he avoids responding. I've challenged anybody to fight me for real, and they've told me "No."

Nobody in this area is willing to brawl with me, and that's sad. It's really sad. I'm even willing to work it and say it's a legitimate fight, but people fear me. It's not that I'm gonna hurt them, it's that I'm gonna make them realize what it takes to be a real wrestler. It's either that, or a real pay-out. No promoter in the PNW has given a real pay-out in their entire lives.

What is the toughest and/or easiest part about being a wrestler?

The toughest part is easily getting beat up, disrespected, and mistreated for little to no money. I wouldn't suggest wrestling as a career opportunity for anyone. It's bullshit, and nobody is willing to give you the time of day unless you're unnaturally well built. If you're 6'5 and have the body that all the ladies want, you have a chance, but I know guys who are immaculately constructed at 5'11 and nobody gives a crap. You know what they say, you can train anybody to be a wrestler, but you can't train anybody to be 6'5".

It's garbage, but it's true. Wrestling is about looks these days. I'll never make a million dollars being a fat ass who can do the same moves that a guy who has abs can do.

Any funny stories from your time in the business?

Okay, so, this one time, I was in my car, we were doing a double shot (I know you guys love lingo!) and we stopped at this guy's house halfway through. We fell asleep at 5AM in his parking lot, but I never turned off my headlights, because I forgot they were on because it was already sunlight. My car died, and I woke up the next morning to the asshole in my passenger seat elbowing my window. I calmed him down, and we shouted out the 1 inch crack in my window to a lady who unlocked my car, which was dead, so my door locks wouldn't work in my beat to shit 1989 Acura Legend. WE WERE TRAPPED IN MY CAR. Yeah, so, she unlocked my car.

Also, I boxed another guy in a locker room that was the size of a bathroom with 25 guys in it.
And in the same building, I had the state commission threaten me because I got busted in the face with a mirror by an opponent and bled all over the place.

What do you think about the PG direction of the current WWE product?

I haven't watched WWE in so long, I do not understand what you mean by PG direction. I seriously do not watch professional wrestling, ever. The only things I know are the things other people mention to me, and I occasionally watch something on youtube because it's 4AM and I'm drunk and have exhausted my supply of "LETS PLAY" videos. (Those are where podcasters play video games and give commentary.)

The business as a whole is down right now. What do you think needs to change to help it grow to where it was in the late 90's?

The business is down because the cat's been let out of the bag, and people are offended that it's fake. They aren't saying it, but the big problem is, "YOU TRICKED ME!" It's like, they're offended because Hulk Hogan is just a tall guy with a great body who can't really fight, but they don't care that Jesus or Santa Claus doesn't really exist.

It's funny, how hypocritical the United States is. We're talking about a group of people who are willing to suspend disbelief for so many things, but not for gladiator sports. They want to see people get hurt for real, they're animals. I can get people to show up to watch me fight an MMA guy, but they don't REALLY care if it's obviously a fake fight between me and an opponent. America has given up on theatre, and promoted reality television, which they are still too stupid to realize is the next generation of theatre.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?

5 years from now? In Graduate School, finishing up my courses so I can teach English, write shitty poetry, and teach political discourse classes. I'm going to be a college professor, and I might have started late, but I'm never going to give up educating people. I've done nothing but learn and teach wrestling since I got involved, and I hope to do the same in every academic thing I get involved in. Hell, I might be Mayor in 5 years, you'll never know.

Any upcoming shows you would like to plug?

No. There are no upcoming shows that showcase my talent, and I've not made a single friend in wrestling that I'd be willing to plug an event for. The only group that are worth mentioning is HPG Pro, and they're a legitimate outfit of Brazilian Jiujitsu fighters. They're not even Pro Wrestlers. I guarantee it's more entertaining than any fake fighting you'll see in this area, and if I'd work anywhere, you'll see me there.

Why did you get involved with it if you Dislike it so much? Or did you lose interest afterwards?

It's not that. The political structure of wrestling is horrible.

But what about the other side of the curtain? The part where you go out and entertain the crowds. Do you still find that redeemable?

If promoters do not promote, there isn't enough of an audience to feel like it's worth breaking my body anymore. There isn't anyone who can successfully produce an event AND a paycheck in this area that is currently running events.

The Fast Forward Raw Review

By Bret Bealer

Heisenbealer here, taking over for our fearless leader on the Raw Review this week. Why a fast forward review? Because I watch this crap on Youtube and skip the, well, crap! Not to mention three hours (okay fine, two and a quarter hours on Youtube thanks to the removal of brain cell killing TV ads) should probably be enough to kill a normal man. I don’t know how you guys do it.

So we open with a recap of what happened before the show went on the air. Punk and King punking (because I’m the Pun King) on each other in the back, throwing punches and each other back and forth and the refs trying to keep them apart. Punk even had the audacity to throw out the classic insult of “Stupid shirt!”. Truly heelish stuff here folks.

After the recap Shaymoose makes his way out to the ring pretty much just long enough to say “Hi” to the “Shicargo” crowd and mention Alberto Del Rio before Mr. Cookie Monster Punk interrupts the World Heavyweight Champ on the stage. The WWE Champ gets a warm welcome from his hometown. He claims that Lawler attacked him first, and from behind. Which I guess is the whole reason they put it on before the show started, so Punk could make that claim without getting called out on it.

He continues on with the same stuff we’ve already heard and catch ups for anyone who only watches the show once a month. When he gets the part about disrespect, Sheamus jumps in to point out that Punk is disrespecting him as WH Champion. He makes a good point. Unfortunately, instead of WWE taking the opportunity to show both titles are equal, they have Punk bury the WHC, and Smackdown by extension, as second best. Look, we all know it’s true and we’ve known it for years. But Sheamus doesn’t even take a stab at rebutting that statement. No wonder Smackdown is shedding ratings like Staples sheds ass hair. GM Tits McGee comes out to make a Champion Vs Champion match between Punk and Sheamus for later in the night.

FASTFORWARD through the Wicked Witch Of The WWE's yammering her “EXCUSE ME”s to a rematch from Smackdown in Dolph “I think I just heard Staples blow a load” Ziggler and Randy “Berg’s turn” Orton. I don’t watch Smackdown, but this was the best match I’ve seen out of Orton since his 60 day high. Dolph sold throughout the match like a beast, as usual. I was wondering if they were going to have him lose AGAIN after just losing to Orton on Smackdown, but I was pleasantly surprised to see him get the win, even if it was by grabbing the tights.

I’m just starting to wonder when, if ever, Dolph is going to look dominant. I know many guys have made a career out of squeaking out wins, but Ziggler deserves much more than that. At least he’s still pretty young, so he’s got plenty of time to blossom into the pretty pink flower he wants to be.


Miz makes his way down to the ring to work the commentary booth for the rest of the night, and completely drops a notch on my respect totem pole I keep in my closet to rank ever wrestler. His voice didn’t sound the same. He sound like a 12 year old version of himself, both in his choice of words and the actual sound of his voice. He wasn’t bad, but REALLY? REALLY? If Punk wasn’t going to wrestle they could have at least given that position to him. Lazy fuckin’ bum.

Then we get the first of some number more than one of D-Bry and Kane’s anger management program bits. It was good, not as great as the other ones. They drew anger collages. Bryan said “YES” and “NO” a few times, and Kane summoned fire in a trash can to burn his. Which makes me wonder why he doesn’t do that to his opponents. Anyway, typical stuff.


Our next FAST FORWARD was for a tag match seeing Rey and Sin Cara against Tensai and Cody Rhodes. I don’t care for three out of four guys in this match, hence the double speed through this one. I don’t think Cara botched, so there’s something. The best thing about this match was the idea in my head that Cody and Tensai could form a tag team and put on hilarious backstage skits of Rhodes giving Prince Albert dashing fashion advice. It’d be like a modern era Billy and Chuck, but without the homosensuality. And Sakamoto would make a great Rico. Back on topic, Sin Cara pins Rhodes for the win.


Another anger management class with DB and Kane. Doing trust falls this time. Woooo. Look, these are some of the better things on the show, but I feel like they’re milking it too fast. I’d rather people not get tired of Bryan, but hey, that’s just me. Kane and DB bond over not catching Harold during his trust fall. D’awwwww.

Aaaaaand if it wasn’t bad enough that WWE was showcasing Punk’s matches halfway through a two hour show, now they’re putting them a third of the way through a three hour show. Or so they’d have you believe. I knew something was amiss when Cunt Magnet Punk didn’t come down in his gear and instead was still in his jeans from the top of the show. He continues on the respect slant, and says his hometown crowd will respect that he’s not wrestling a match and is taking Labor Day off for himself.

GENIUS! I love the idea of Punk ACTUALLY not wrestling a match IN HIS HOMETOWN. They’re really stepping on the gas in the CM Punk Heelmobile. He gets a little more heelish each week, and the hometown hero snubbing the crowd is a great tactic. I’m sure Chicagoans disagree with me, but as far as story goes it’s great. I just hope they can continue to increase the heel incline next, and each week after.

Backstage AJ tries unsuccessfully tries to stop Punk from leaving, and gets in a burn on Striker by not knowing who he is. Gotta love Vince sticking it to his employees through other employees on national TV. AJ apparently makes the sage-like decision to send Job Swagger out to face Mayo Thunder. And my FAST FORWARD button is getting a lot of work tonight. After what I’m sure was a Match Of The Year shoe in, Sheamus slaps on the submission and Miz gets his best line of the night with “TEXAS CLOVERLEAF, SON!”. ADR rushes that guy from Metallica’s younger brother from another Irish mother and eats some White Noise for his trouble, setting up for the Brogue Kick which Ricardo straight Supermans himself in front of for his boss. Ricardo is definitely the best thing about Del Rio.


Divas match next, which is the one true FAST FORWARD of the night. Don’t even ask me who was in the match. I already sold my fucks for some blue meth so I have none left to give. Afterwards Swagger is seen leaving backstage, and when AJ tries to convince him to stay he tells her he’s taking some extended time off. Whoops, looks like I had one fuck left to give. Spend it well Mr. Swagger. AJ starts cracking under the pressure of everyone leaving, and it’s making me think she isn’t going to be GM for much longer. We’ll see.

Anger Management Part The Third. Bryan and Kane make nice temporarily, until Kane claims he could eviscerate Bryan, which offers Bryan a golden line on a silver plate of “It’s hard to EVISCERATE when you’re TAPPING OUT.” They blah blah blah some more and the anger management doctor gets angry. Seriously genius stuff here folks. Like, Kafkaesque. Bitch. Out at the booth Cole tells us we can go on Twatter to Queet for all our Swallowers to see what we want to see from Bryan and Kane. #WWEmatch for them to face each other, #WWEtag for them to team up, or the obvious choice #WWEhug that you know every MARK will pick. What, all out of #WWEAJblowme’s?


Next FAST FORWARD is reserved for Jinder Derp Dinder and Ryback, who I’m still not even close to being sold on. I like that he’s energetic, but he comes off so goofy. His little evolved Heil Hitler arm motions, the bouncing and bobbing (so much bobbing), and every crowd that isn’t full of inbred Siamese brother-sister-cousins chanting “GOLDBERG” just make it so I can’t take him seriously. He’s just like every other big guy on a debut streak, but he got lucky with a good catchphrase that the crowd is into. It’s really his only saving grace. I’m still waiting for RVD to show up and take his ring gear back.


The official theme song for Night Of Champions is a song from that fat fuck from Summerslam, Fred Durst, Lil Wang, and another black guy.  I think my dick just retreated so far into my body that it came out my ass. I literally fucked myself inside out. #WWEshootme

But Cole thinks it’s awesome and has been listening to it all day. I’m sold. Just put a sticker of Cole on that album with that ringing endorsement and I’ll buy twenty. Yeah, twenty. That should be enough to kill myself choking on.

We see Bryan and Kane for the fourth time tonight (told you, milking) and everyone knows they’re going to have to hug. First they refuse, then the chest bump which the ref in all his unquestionable power (seriously, what’s he going to do?) says isn’t good enough, then again, then Bryan hugs Kane. BUT KANE DOES NOT RECIPROCATE SAID HUG. He truly is a monster. Ref still says it ain’t good enough. So Kane hugs Bryan, BUT NOW BRYAN RETURNS THE FAVOR BY NOT RETURNING THE HUG. Years of stalling later, they finally both hug and shake hands. Oscar worthy stuff here folks.

Look, this was funny and all, but go back and watch it and realize how much time this ate up. This is what we get with three hours of Raw. Good stuff gets drawn out until it’s bad, bad stuff until it’s pureed shit, and the pureed shit LITERALLY (I’m using literally literally, and not sarcastically /sarcasm) causes tens of thousands of people to go all Chris Benoit on their selves and their loved ones. This all of course breaks down into a brawl and the feud continues.


Another FAST FORWARD moment, as Berg’s future husband and dominatrix Santino makes his way to the ring. Just by zipping through I can already tell I’m going to really like Cesaro once he faces someone other than the Italian Doink The Clown. Santino has more Cobra malfunctions and Cesaro picks up the 1 2 3.


Oh for Jesus Titty Fucking Christ’s sake, another FAST FORWARD match. I don’t give a flying pig’s shit for either Slater or Ryder. Sorry if that hit you right in the feels, bro, but I feel about the same for Ryder as I do for Ryback. A guy that got lucky with a few good catchphrases and was willing to take the Matt Hardy route and pander to fans online. Yawn. Someone wins, yippee! Did you really care?

At this point, I’m catching up from Monday night, because I passed right the fuck out sometime around the end of the Kane/D Bry brawl. Thickie Vickie comes out and I almost smash the FAST FORWARD button into tiny blue crystals. At some point in my skipping I see Vickie arguing with a chair. LOVE IT. Clint Eastwood, henceforth known as Cleastwood, should get a guest spot and ramble on incoherently with Vickie. Someone backstage much have translated the sound of mating barn owls that is Vickie’s voice into some form of coherent English, or at least enough for GMAJ to know she needs to skip dat ass down to the ring.


Apparently AJ was naughty and needs a spanking. What? No? Fucking PG. Instead, she has to APOLOGIZE to Vickie for slapping her last week and not hit anyone anymore. So of course Vickie slaps her. Twice. Yeah, I’m putting my money on GMAJ not being GM for much longer. GMAJ crams four days of menstruation into 30 seconds and beats on the ring with the chair Vickie was arguing with. Poor chair.

For the main event we get Cena Nuff against Alberto in a Falls Count Anywhere match. I have a soft spot in my hardened heart for FCA matches. If done right, they’re awesome. This one was….okay. Don’t really care for ADR and Cena is, well, Cena. This match played out like your typical Cena match, with his getting his ass kicked (See: carried) almost the entire time. They eventually work their way backstage where Punk, who left early so by WWE law had to come back later to screw over his PPV opponent, ambushed Cena to give ADR the win.

Afterwords, Punk nails Cena with a GTS on a car instead of his knee. Punk then heads into the car to drive off, with none other than PAUL FUCKING HEYMAN! Have I said “YES YES YES” yet this review? No? Well. *Ahem* YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!! Punk’s storyline is really what’s kept me interested in WWE this last year or so, and I’ve always loved Heyman, so this is like a wet dream come true for me. Bald men do that to me. So where does this lead? A Punk/Brock alliance? Not? Come on over the Corner on Facebook, or sound off in the comments and let us know.

P.S. I wrote this on my bedroom floor next to an open tampon and just noticed. EW EW EW! NO NO NO!
P.P.S. It’s over when I say it’s over.
P.P.P.S. It’s over

Kayfabe Q&A: Hoss Tull

When did you decide you wanted to be a Pro Wrestler?

I wasn't interested in Professional Wrestling until I was about 14 years old. That would have been around 1984.

Who were your favorite wrestlers?

In the beginning it was Hulk Hogan. Then Randy Savage. After watching WWF for a few I found the NWA and discovered the Road Warriors.

Was your family supportive of you becoming a wrestler? 

That was never an issue. I was actually on the path to the UWF training school in 1989. But those plans fell through.

Where did you train and what was it like?

I was introduced to Dave Hollenbeck, known as HAVOC at PINNACLE Wrestling in Pacific, WA. Training at PINNACLE was awesome at the time. Mainly because a majority of us, about 13-20 people, were all so new to the experience of being trained in Professional Wrestling. It was a fantasy come true.

How long have you been competing?

I have been wrestling for almost 8 years. But that would include training. So mid August 2004 was when I started training. And then by that winter myself and a majority of the boys were traveling to Oregon to work for WCWC in Salem and Rainier.

Sinn Bohdi aka Kizarny and Hoss Tull

Have you met many big names since you started? If so, what was your impression of them?

I have met and worked shows with HAVOC, Jake "The Snake" Roberts (douchebag), Babydoll, Kizarny, Raven, Nick "Eugene" Densmore (awesome dude), Davey Dick...I mean Richards, Tiny Kozina, Jack Evans, Beau James, Dr. Tom Pritchard, Harry Smith (slave name DH smith), TJ Wilson (slave name Tyson Kidd). Obviously I do NOT like Jake Roberts, Douchey Richards or Tiny Kozina. They are just horrible people no matter how talented they may or may not be.

What is your favorite match that you have competed in so far?

I liked working with Exile and CW Bergstrom. But my matches with HAVOC are what really stand out in my mind.

Who is your dream opponent?

Angelina Love in a Bra and Panties match? No? Maybe against Dutch Savage in a No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere, Last Man Standing Coal Miners Glove Match. MY specialty.

What is the toughest and/or easiest part about being a wrestler?

The part that is most difficult now is the fact that almost everybody in the Pacific Northwest is so clueless as to what Professional Wrestling IS. The easiest part, well that is being a part of HPG Pro and our training in KUMA PRO. KUMA PRO will be the next generation of what fighting has to offer. All the finesse of JUDO, power of Sumo, and discipline of Jiu Jitsu.

What do you think about the PG direction of the current WWE product?

I completely stopped watching WWEvil a few months ago, so I cannot comment.

The business as a whole is down right now. What do you think needs to change to help it grow to where it was in the late 90's?

The way that WWEvil is ruining...I mean running business is NOT what Professional Wrestling was when I first started watching it. But that is evolution right? Regardless of my opinion, Pro Wrestling as a whole needs a big extra strength douche to clean out all the crap & crustiness. There are too many people running around calling themselves Professional Wrestlers when they have not had a day of training to back it up. Too many Indy companies that think just because they own a ring and a license that they're actually promoters, when the fact is if you want to be a promoter the work needs to be done, just like if you want to be a good wrestler, you train.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?

Not absolutely sure on that. I am sure that I will NOT be wrestling for any of the current PNW (Pacific Northwest) Indy companies. I am focusing on HPG Pro and KUMA PRO. Otherwise I'd really want to travel to bookings outside of the Pacific Northwest.

Any upcoming shows you would like to plug?

Any upcoming events will be advertised on my facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/HossTuLL.
Contact me at hosstull@gmail or my facebook inbox, Serious inquiries only please.

Also be sure to 'LIKE' : HPG Pro, Hoss TuLL, The Infamous History of Pro Wrestling, and "The Crown Jewel of the West Coast" Cameron Large's facebook pages.

Thanks to ALL the real deal wrestling fans. You are the reason we do what we do.