Friday, October 12, 2012

Heisenbealer's TNA Impact Review 10/11/2012

Howdy there, Heisenbealer here, doing the Impact review this week. It’s been many a moon since I've tuned into the TNA product, which is odd because I've never been as hard on them as the rest of the internet community seems to be. I can just only handle so much man grappling in a week’s time. And usually that was reserved for Raw, but with whatever Punk and Bryan happen to be doing being the only thing worth tuning into lately (and the three hour drag) I haven't even been watching that lately. So here we go!

We get A Double Austin Aries against James Storm for our opening match. Seems like WWE isn't the only place that puts two of their top stars in a curtain jerker match, so I suppose my grumpy old ass should just get used to it. One thing I've always enjoyed about TNA is that most of their guys put a lot into every match, not just the PPV ones. Storm and Aries really laid into each other on this one, and I’d have been more than happy to have this match on a PPV that I paid for. I think this also puts more pressure on them to really deliver when it is a PPV match, which is the way it should be across the entire industry, but I digress. Aries hits a beautiful Brainbuster on Storm to pick up the 1 2 3.

Back from commercial we get Hogan and Sting in the ring with Hogan yammering on about a “Deal with the devil” with Aces and 8s, which cues out the “World Tag Team Champions Of The World” Kaz and Daniels with Daniels proclaiming themselves to be “Angels” and requesting that their match at BFG on Sunday be cancelled so that their opponent Kurt Angle can be Sting’s partner against A&8s instead of Bully Ray. Ray comes out to essentially agree with them, but tell them they're wrong. Yada yada yada, does anyone else doubt that Ray turns on Sting Sunday and is revealed as being part of, if not the leader, A&8s? I mean, it’s BFG, TNA’s Wrestlemania, and they seem to have a fetish for throwing the swerve at their Grandaddy every year.

Our next match is AJ Styles Vs Hernandez, who will be part of the Tag Team Triple Threat this Sunday. This match was a little slower and not quite as hard hitting as the first of the night, but still a solid match. And when you have AJ Styles in the ring, how can you NOT have a solid match? Styles is one of the best in the world when it comes to getting between the ropes, and I don't think he receives enough credit for how good he is. Hernandez hits what I assume is the weakest looking finisher in TNA, a shoulder (albeit a giant one) block, sending Styles flying across the ring and down long enough for the pin.

Something happens with an Aces and 8s guy talking backstage, but I can't make out what he’s saying except “Hogan” and “Sunday”. Expect something to happen between them and Hogan on Sunday I suppose.

Back in the ring we get the X Division champ Zema Ion gets on the mic. He kind of reminds me of that stuck up bitch we all knew in high school. He cuts a typical promo about having no X Div opponents left, which leads to RVD making his way out to cut another typical promo. Looks like they'll face off Sunday, which is good because I'm much more interested in seeing these two in action rather than on the mic.

After more backstage garbage that does nothing to further any storylines and a truly frightening pre Hollywood scare in seeing Brooke Hogan’s face, we get Sting and Bully Ray against the Tag Team Champs Daniels and Kaz. Again, I like that TNA does this and makes Sting and Ray’s “warm up” match against a team you don't know right off the bat they’ll beat. If this was WWE, Sting and Ray would have faced Santino and Heath Slater in a squash. Instead they AGAIN give us a PPV quality match up with a lot of back and forth action, and yes, even Sting telling Ray to “GET THE TABLE!” leading to Daniels and Kaz getting the win via DQ after Bully put Daniels through said table with a brutal second rope powerbomb. If the match quality of Impact tonight is indicative of how the PPV will be, I’ll be a happy camper Sunday night.

Our Knockout match of the night is Gail Kim Vs Ms Tessmacher. A solid match out of the girls, which is something that can rarely be said for their Diva counterparts. Nothing special to see here, but not a piss break like you usually get with women’s matches in the WWE either. And they get to act a little sluttier. Win/win. Tessmacher gives a hard slam to Gail for the pin win, and afterwards Tara comes in to attack her. But Tessmacher gets the upper hand and slams her too.

And in our main event of the evening we get Bobby Roode facing off against Jeff Hardy. Or maybe that’s one of Picasso’s paintings come to life. It’s such an enigma I can't even tell. My issue with Jeff Hardy has always been the effort he puts into his matches. Some people don't like him because he’s a “spot monkey” but I disagree, and even if he is/was, professional wrestling needs a lot of different styles, not just technical masters who know 1004 holds. Hardy always seems to get complacent and just dial in his matches when he doesn't feel like he’s being spotlighted the way he should (Randy Orton is the same way) but between the few times I've seen him since his drug troubled break and tonight’s match, it seems like he’s delivering the way he should. Roode is great as always, one of the best current heels in the business. Match ends when Hardy goes for the Twist Of Fate, but Roode ducks it and delivers a low blow, giving Jeff the win by DQ. After the bell rings Roode grabs a steel chair, but the ref takes it out of his hands, giving Hardy enough time to hit the Twist Of Fate to give his fans a little pop before they go home. A Double makes his way to the ring to jaw at Hardy and end the show with the spotlight on the Championship heading into the PPV. He complains about the company catering to Hardy even though Aries is the champ, and it all sounds kind of reminiscent of Punk/Cena. Solid promo, but nothing unique, and after the words are said Aries attacks Hardy and lays him out with a Brainbuster to end the show and lead us into the PPV this Sunday.

Damn good show overall, and I think I may have found my replacement for my weekly wrestling fix.


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