Monday, August 27, 2012

The Raw Review 8/27/2012

WWE Monday Night Raw 8/27/2012
The Bradley Center Milwaukee, WI

Jerry Lawler calls out CM Punk

This segment did a lot to help build the story of "The bitter champion" that we've been witnessing over the last month. Much like Bret Hart in 1997, Punk feels he has been disrespected, and he will stop at nothing to FORCE his peers to acknowledge his greatness.

Punk talking to Jerry Lawler like he was nothing but a jobber showed how big of a chip he has on his shoulder. Good stuff that had reason behind it.

Ryback vs Jack Swagger

Typical squash. Ryback needs to slow down a bit in the ring. At one point he almost dropped Swagger right on top of his head. I know I wouldn't want to be in the ring with the big pink-eyed klutz.

Finish: A Fisherman's Buster finishes off 'The All American American'.

Winner: Ryback

Non-title match: Layla© vs Natalya

I dig Layla. She has improved a ton in the ring, and pulled out some really cool moves in this match. My only complaint about the match was having to look at Vicky Guerrero standing on the ring steps the entire time.  That is a sure fire way to kill a boner.

Finish: Layla kicks Natalya in the back of the head to get the win.

Winner: Layla

Vicky Guerrero demands to replace AJ Lee as the Raw GM

My ears were bleeding by the time AJ skipped her crazy ass down to the ring. And it felt good to see her slap the shit out of Guerrero.  That being said, shouldn't AJ be fired for attacking a talent under contract to Raw?

Anger Management with Daniel Bryan: Part 1

I giggled my way through this entire segment. Daniel Bryan is great in this role, but I also hope he will one day dial back the comedy and become a serious competitor again. Until then, I'm enjoying his character.

Jerry Lawler makes his decision

I think we all knew last week, and even more so from the top of the show, That we were going to get a match between the two tonight, Also it's kind of obvious what will go down later tonight, and it will involve a certain invisible broccoli colored grappler.

John Cena vs The Miz

It was really weird seeing Cena come out to the ring, not only for an undercard match, but one that had zero hype.

The match itself was good, and that's all I have to say about it.

Finish: Attitude Adjustment on The Miz to earn Cena the victory.

Winner: John Cena

Anger Management with Daniel Bryan...and Kane: Part 2

I knew in the first skit when the therapist mentioned that they were waiting on one more person, that it would be Kane. Predictable, but I'll wait and see how this plays out tonight before I judge it as a whole.

Heath Slater vs Santino

At this point I poured myself a stiff drink. What the fuck is going on with Santino's Cobra puppet and Aksana? I actually feel bad for Heath Slater for being forced to be apart of this shit. It's bad enough that these shows are 3 fucking hours, but when I also have to sit through insufferable crap like that, I am forced to booze it up.

Hello my name is Jeremy, and WWE turned me into an alcoholic.

Finish: The Cobra sees Aksana walking out onto the stage and becomes transfixed. Slater tries to take advantage, but The Cobra manages to strike anyway.

Winner: Santino

Brodus Clay & Sin Cara vs Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes

I've usually like it when WWE takes two feuds and puts them together for one night only. And being that I enjoy both of these programs you would think that I would love this, right? Not the case. This match was rushed and did nothing to further either storyline. Cant win 'em all.

Finish: Cody takes a headbutt and a big splash. FATALITY!!

Winners: Brodus Clay & Sin Cara

Anger Management with Daniel Bryan and Kane: Part 3

This was the best thing I have ever seen...EVER!!!

Kane going through his entire history the way he did had me literally laughing out loud. Awesome stuff. WWE I almost forgive you for the Cobra bullshit from earlier...almost.

Daniel Bryan vs R-Truth

As a match this was nothing to remember. But as a continuation of the Anger Management storyline, it was awesome. Bryan coming out and acting as if he had some kind of breakthrough was great. By the time he finally snapped and went into the "No No No" routine, I was grinning from ear to ear. Bryan's act is so over with the crowd that I can't help but feel proud of the guy. Nobody ever thought that WWE would give him a real shot, but they were wrong. He has become an invaluable member of the roster, and is truly the future of the company in many ways.

Finish: Bryan was too busy verbally dueling with the fans to notice that he was being counted out.

Winner: R-Truth

Triple H's major announcement

I had a hard time paying attention to this, and soaking it all in. I know that this wont be the last time we see Hunter on TV, and I know that Summerslam wasn't the last time we were going to see him compete. I hate retirement storylines for that very reason. So why should I care?

Plus he never actually said that he was retiring. I give it until Survivor Series before we see 'The Game' back in the ring, probably against Brock Lesnar.

Dolph Ziggler & Alberto Del Rio vs Sheamus & Randy Orton

I loved how Ziggler taunted Chris Jericho before the match. I still say they're setting up a return storyline for when Fozzy's tour ends. Sure, It would have been better if Dolph had taken out Y2J and put him on the shelf, but either way the story is building.

The match was pretty much what you would expect. Hard hitting, and plenty of bumps from Ziggler.

Finish: Ricardo tosses in the MITB briefcase to Ziggler. Orton is able to stop him from using it, which leads to a huge Brogue Kick to the face of The Show Off.

Winners: Sheamus & Randy Orton

Zack Ryder vs David Otunga

Kane joins the commentary booth.

Zack did a great job in this match, and he would have to with a shitty opponent like David Otunga.

Finish: Zack Ryder uses the Rough Ryder on Otunga to pick up the win. I bet that's not the only time that's happened to Otunga.

Winner: Zack Ryder

Post Match: Kane enters the ring and grabs Ryder by the throat. He then decides against choke slamming him, and instead takes out Otunga.

At least Ryder didn't get buried yet again. That's progress, right?

AJ names John Cena as Punk's opponent for the PPV

Well Duh!!! Didn't see that one coming.

Non-Title Cage Match: CM Punk© vs Jerry Lawler

The Raw Active voting decided that tonight's main event will be inside of a Steel Cage.

I think that this will be Lawler's first Cage Match in WWE. So that's cool, but The King will most likely die tonight.

This was a pretty damn good match for what it was. Punk was a total prick, and Lawler played the sympathetic babyface perfectly. And there was a bit of blood!!

Finish: Punk made Lawler tap out to The Anaconda Vice to score the win.

Winner: CM Punk

Post Match: Punk chains the door shut and continues beating on Lawler until John Cena runs in for the save and has the cage raised. Punk takes off as Cena tends to Jerry Lawler to end the show.

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