TNA Impact Wrestling Review 11/1/2012

1. Joseph Park being back was a plus. I enjoy his schtick, and it gives his body a rest after all those years of destroying himself as Abyss.

2. Joe is gonna kill Magnus at Turning Point. 'Nuff said.

3. When I saw Wes Brisco in the backstage segment with Hogan, I popped huge. It's no secret that he is the member of Aces & Eights with the long blond hair, so the internet wrestling SMARK in me was grinning from ear to self important ear. Never trust the random guy who shows up out of nowhere to help fight your cause. Did they forget to read the manual?

4. Daniels and Kazarian's new music is groovy as shit. I almost jumped off of the couch and embarrassed not only myself, but my entire family during their entrance.

5. Chavo and Hernandez do nothing for me as Tag Champs. They quite frankly bore the shit out of me. Chavo has only ever been pushed as anything special because of who his Uncle is, and it pisses me off.

6. Christian York did well for himself during his Gut Check match with Zema Ion. He's put on a lot of muscle since the last time I saw him in ECW, or even his one time in TNA a decade ago. The added muscle weight might have actually slowed him down a step or two. But it was still a very impressive outing.

7. All is right in the world now that Austin Aries' short run as a face is over. Much like CM Punk in WWE, the guy is a natural heel. Now all TNA needs to do is put the belt back on him...

8. Speaking of guys who shouldn't be faces, WTF Bully Ray? Probably one of the top three heels in the business and they feel the need to have him be apart of the fight against Aces of Anarchy? Please just have him pull the swerve already!

9. I skipped right through ODB vs Tara's man-thing. I have no time for shit like that.

10. When they switched announce teams in the middle of the show I was a bit bummed. I dig Borash and whoever the fuck that was. They almost give TNA a Mike Goldberg/UFC sound to the presentation. There was no characters, just two dudes calling some wrestling. I enjoyed the hell out of it.

11. I skipped through the Hardy/Robbie E match as the outcome was never in question. But the stuff after the match was pretty cool. Hardy challenging Aries to a ladder match, presumably with both TNA World Title belts hanging above the ring Wrestlemania X style, was awesome. I'm looking forward to this match, but now I doubt TNA is planning on giving Aries back the title. Oh well, at least he's still the Greatest Man To Ever Live.

12. It's sad that TNA will never give AJ Styles another run on top. It's been over two years since he dropped the belt and was put into mid card feuds. The guy is amazing in the ring, and deseves better than the shit they give him. At least he's in the number 1 contender Triple Threat for the World Title at Turning Point, he aint winning, but at least he's there.

13. Joey Ryan does not need Sterling Golden...I mean Matt Morgan. I know that the bodygaurd routine helps to get personalities like Ryan over, but they are better when they stand silent and menecing in the background. I would perfer that Morgan never speaks, but that's not where they're going. And are they trying to build to a Morgan/Hogan match? For the sake of all things fuck don't let that happen!!!

14. I'm digging the build toward an eventual Bully Ray/Devon match, unless it's all a swerve. From what I've read, at Turning Point it's set to be Devon vs Kurt Angle, so maybe Bully joins the group that night.

15.  And finally, Luke Gallows being revealed as a member of Aces of Anarchy was much needed. It's about time they progressed this storyline, and much like Wes Brisco, it's no secret that he's been under the mask. I've always liked Gallows. He was great in the Straightedge Society under Punk, and he can be equally as great here.

Heisenbealer's TNA Impact Review 10/11/2012

Howdy there, Heisenbealer here, doing the Impact review this week. It’s been many a moon since I've tuned into the TNA product, which is odd because I've never been as hard on them as the rest of the internet community seems to be. I can just only handle so much man grappling in a week’s time. And usually that was reserved for Raw, but with whatever Punk and Bryan happen to be doing being the only thing worth tuning into lately (and the three hour drag) I haven't even been watching that lately. So here we go!

We get A Double Austin Aries against James Storm for our opening match. Seems like WWE isn't the only place that puts two of their top stars in a curtain jerker match, so I suppose my grumpy old ass should just get used to it. One thing I've always enjoyed about TNA is that most of their guys put a lot into every match, not just the PPV ones. Storm and Aries really laid into each other on this one, and I’d have been more than happy to have this match on a PPV that I paid for. I think this also puts more pressure on them to really deliver when it is a PPV match, which is the way it should be across the entire industry, but I digress. Aries hits a beautiful Brainbuster on Storm to pick up the 1 2 3.

Back from commercial we get Hogan and Sting in the ring with Hogan yammering on about a “Deal with the devil” with Aces and 8s, which cues out the “World Tag Team Champions Of The World” Kaz and Daniels with Daniels proclaiming themselves to be “Angels” and requesting that their match at BFG on Sunday be cancelled so that their opponent Kurt Angle can be Sting’s partner against A&8s instead of Bully Ray. Ray comes out to essentially agree with them, but tell them they're wrong. Yada yada yada, does anyone else doubt that Ray turns on Sting Sunday and is revealed as being part of, if not the leader, A&8s? I mean, it’s BFG, TNA’s Wrestlemania, and they seem to have a fetish for throwing the swerve at their Grandaddy every year.

Our next match is AJ Styles Vs Hernandez, who will be part of the Tag Team Triple Threat this Sunday. This match was a little slower and not quite as hard hitting as the first of the night, but still a solid match. And when you have AJ Styles in the ring, how can you NOT have a solid match? Styles is one of the best in the world when it comes to getting between the ropes, and I don't think he receives enough credit for how good he is. Hernandez hits what I assume is the weakest looking finisher in TNA, a shoulder (albeit a giant one) block, sending Styles flying across the ring and down long enough for the pin.

Something happens with an Aces and 8s guy talking backstage, but I can't make out what he’s saying except “Hogan” and “Sunday”. Expect something to happen between them and Hogan on Sunday I suppose.

Back in the ring we get the X Division champ Zema Ion gets on the mic. He kind of reminds me of that stuck up bitch we all knew in high school. He cuts a typical promo about having no X Div opponents left, which leads to RVD making his way out to cut another typical promo. Looks like they'll face off Sunday, which is good because I'm much more interested in seeing these two in action rather than on the mic.

After more backstage garbage that does nothing to further any storylines and a truly frightening pre Hollywood scare in seeing Brooke Hogan’s face, we get Sting and Bully Ray against the Tag Team Champs Daniels and Kaz. Again, I like that TNA does this and makes Sting and Ray’s “warm up” match against a team you don't know right off the bat they’ll beat. If this was WWE, Sting and Ray would have faced Santino and Heath Slater in a squash. Instead they AGAIN give us a PPV quality match up with a lot of back and forth action, and yes, even Sting telling Ray to “GET THE TABLE!” leading to Daniels and Kaz getting the win via DQ after Bully put Daniels through said table with a brutal second rope powerbomb. If the match quality of Impact tonight is indicative of how the PPV will be, I’ll be a happy camper Sunday night.

Our Knockout match of the night is Gail Kim Vs Ms Tessmacher. A solid match out of the girls, which is something that can rarely be said for their Diva counterparts. Nothing special to see here, but not a piss break like you usually get with women’s matches in the WWE either. And they get to act a little sluttier. Win/win. Tessmacher gives a hard slam to Gail for the pin win, and afterwards Tara comes in to attack her. But Tessmacher gets the upper hand and slams her too.

And in our main event of the evening we get Bobby Roode facing off against Jeff Hardy. Or maybe that’s one of Picasso’s paintings come to life. It’s such an enigma I can't even tell. My issue with Jeff Hardy has always been the effort he puts into his matches. Some people don't like him because he’s a “spot monkey” but I disagree, and even if he is/was, professional wrestling needs a lot of different styles, not just technical masters who know 1004 holds. Hardy always seems to get complacent and just dial in his matches when he doesn't feel like he’s being spotlighted the way he should (Randy Orton is the same way) but between the few times I've seen him since his drug troubled break and tonight’s match, it seems like he’s delivering the way he should. Roode is great as always, one of the best current heels in the business. Match ends when Hardy goes for the Twist Of Fate, but Roode ducks it and delivers a low blow, giving Jeff the win by DQ. After the bell rings Roode grabs a steel chair, but the ref takes it out of his hands, giving Hardy enough time to hit the Twist Of Fate to give his fans a little pop before they go home. A Double makes his way to the ring to jaw at Hardy and end the show with the spotlight on the Championship heading into the PPV. He complains about the company catering to Hardy even though Aries is the champ, and it all sounds kind of reminiscent of Punk/Cena. Solid promo, but nothing unique, and after the words are said Aries attacks Hardy and lays him out with a Brainbuster to end the show and lead us into the PPV this Sunday.

Damn good show overall, and I think I may have found my replacement for my weekly wrestling fix.

-Heisenbealer